


My Dear

by GintaxAlvissforever



Series: Fictober 2020 [1]
Category: Disgaea (Games), Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance
Genre: Angst, Bad Parenting, F/M, Family Drama, Grief/Mourning, Headcanon, Original Character(s), Past Character Death, Post-Game(s), Revenge, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GintaxAlvissforever/pseuds/GintaxAlvissforever
Summary: When Goldion has time to himself, he mourns for the loss of his wife and the many things he wished he didn't do in his youth.
Relationships: Goldion/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Fictober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947220
Kudos: 1





	My Dear

**Author's Note:**

> For October 2020 Writing Prompt with the word being "time". Something not brought up often is the missing mother in the household. It's the cause of Lieze taking care of her father and brother and her brother's clinginess. One of the last skits after you beat the Carnage Dimension is Goldion talking about the future generation, but it makes you wonder about his generation. This fic is still after Gwen reunited with Goldion. Enjoy!
> 
> And no, I'm not doing the words in order suggested because   
> a.) I rather do the words I get motivated by versus being forced one   
> b.) Inktober is dead. It is named after anything else but that.

There are some thoughts that Goldion did not want to say out loud. He always believed actions spoke louder than words. That did not apply to everything. Once you have gotten to a certain age, you start to realize how naïve that thinking is.

Goldion refused to admit that Void brainwashing him into Bloodis benefitted him. When his mind focused on making his son happy and conquering everything before him, it allowed him to not think of his past and current failures. As a warrior, Goldion was considered a legend. As a father and a friend, he was a failure.

The death of his wife weighed deeply on Goldion's mind. Azalea was the world to him. When he was a young adult, he failed to understand how important Azalea was to him. Goldion hated his younger self. He was young, brash, rude and overall difficult to deal with. As the middle child in his family, Goldion desired to prove to everyone he could master the Ultimate Skill. An outsider like Azalea simply watching how the move is supposed to work and then mimicking it instantly was nothing short of humiliating.

Goldion had joined Azalea and her Amazon Brigade to understand how someone like her could effortlessly learn a difficult skill passed down his family line. Goldion was no different than Void back in the day. He hated to admit that he failed to stop his son from having a similar mindset as him. Demons wanted power above all else. Azalea may have been a demon but she understood that the heart was one of the most important things a demon could have in order to manifest skills such as this. She may have just been a copycat but she understood exactly what was needed for the technique to work. Goldion remembered how his father had approved of Azalea almost immediately and allowed her to train in their family to "make the technique more real".

The lion demon recalled how he had done everything in his power to make Azalea feel bad about herself. Azalea was strong, pure and optimistic and he constantly put her down. Her friends had nearly gotten into a fist fight with him, but Goldion knew he deserved many of those punches. It didn't matter how much Azalea struggled with herself as an individual. Goldion had tunnel visioned to the point where only his problems mattered.

It's a miracle that Azalea even fell for a pathetic demon. Azalea had so many suitors lined up for her without her realizing it, but she chose the flawed lion who had lost his family in a war against the Colorless Spectrum Netherworld and had no one else to turn to. He recalled Azalea's kind words back then.

_Goldion, it doesn't matter to me that you have lost everything. You have been there for me at my lowest point. Now, I'll be here for you. We'll get through this. As a hero, I swear I'll make things right._

And to this day, Goldion wonders why he is still alive and Azalea was the one buried in the ground. Azalea cared about everything and everyone. She kept the family together. When she was killed, Goldion forgot how to be a parent. He just knew that he had to find the person who killed his wife and end her life. Goldion never trusted Katarina even as a teenager. Katarina had Azalea's trust and trampled it. He did not know why she killed Azalea, but Goldion wanted revenge. It didn't matter that Katarina fought side by side with him. He just wanted a way to make himself feel better.

But Katarina disappeared off the face of the Netherworld after that. Goldion searched high and low for her, but no matter how far or how hard he searched, he never found the dragon warrior. His other friends had attempted to get in contact with him many times. He did not know how long he was gone from Flowerful but he remembered how angry the few friends he had left looked when he nearly got killed in a skirmish.

**_"Idiot! Go home! Your kids need you!"_ **

**_"Goldion, please. Azalea would hate to see you like this."_ **

**_"Goldion, my wife already gave myself up for Azalea. Please, don't follow either of them…"_ **

How could he go home empty handed? Without Katarina's head, the reason for abandoning his children was moot. If he had something to show them, then they would understand and forgive him. His friends weren't having it and forced him to stop his quest for revenge.

It was the best and worst thing he could do. The guilt in his heart festered despite mastering the Ultimate Skill. Yet, he still had the two children that his wife left behind. Lieze and Void were the world to him. He had failed them by not catching Katarina or taking care of them in the aftermath of her death. It's why his relationship with Void went astray and why he tried for so long to teach Void how to love like Azalea. Void looked like his mother and inherited her magic, but there were too many factors that made it impossible for him to be like his mother. If he couldn't understand what made Azalea powerful, there was nothing Goldion could do to convince him otherwise.

But Goldion still managed to fail his children when it mattered the most. Introducing Killia to Void was meant to motivate him to try harder. Void saw it as his father giving up on him entirely. He was dumb for agreeing with Void's sentiment. If he was a good father, he would have explained his reasoning. Instead, he remained quiet and let fate run its course. Everything about the war and the rise of the Lost could have all been prevented if Goldion was a better person.

The Rebel Army was helping those who had lost everything after the horrible war. Azalea's reputation was tarnished because of him. The family she left behind would be known as war criminals. No matter how much they try to repair, nothing could bring back the lives lost. Void had learned somehow that sacrificing millions of lives was enough to bring back one person. It was not a worthy sacrifice. If Void didn't do it, then Azalea would have had her daughter join her on the other side.

Goldion wanted to follow his wife once he taught the Ultimate Skill to Killia and Zeroken. Fate still wanted him to keep living. After training through the Carnage Dimension, Goldion made sure the Rebel Army was ready to fight back. Once that was done, Goldion intended to disappear into irrelevance after doing all of his power to atone.

 _Azalea...wait for me just a little bit longer._ Goldion told himself. _I still have a reason to be alive._

It was awful thinking that despite all Void has done, he had forgiven him when he saw the insecure look in his son's eyes. That look had vanished when Void became Void Dark. Now, he was just Void again. Void had managed to bring Lieze back and now his children were willing to be a family again this time with the Rebel Army if he allowed it.

And of course Goldion was selfish. He had lost his family once before. He had lost his dearly beloved and failed to avenge her. He failed his family by letting Void's darkness take over. Now he was given absolutely one more chance to make things right, and Goldion would spend the rest of his life to make sure that his wife's legacy wasn't tarnished by all of his flaws.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes!
> 
> 1\. For Goldion's past, I headcanon that the reason he's so hard on Void and why he has a soft spot for both Killia and Zeroken is because he himself was like them in the past. He was arrogant and rude as a teenager and didn't know how important family was until they were gone. He valued power above all else, but was a cowardly lion when things got really serious. He tries his best to be a good parental figure but I don't really appreciate how the narrative glossed over how Goldion clearly failed Void at multiple points as a father and it shouldn't be Lieze's job to make sure Void doesn't go over the deep end.
> 
> 2\. The demon that wants to be a hero for the greater good has not been an archetype for a Disgaea protagonist like I set Azalea up to be. We have Mao who only wants the title and benefits of a hero and not because he wants to help others. Azalea managed to charm her way into many people's hearts and Lieze inherits that side from her mother. Can you imagine Azalea building up a heroic legacy only for her son to destroy it? I implied that not many demons actually know that Void is her child so it helps but he is the splitting image of her. Older, smarter demons would be able to pick up on that.
> 
> 3\. Void's obsession with strength comes from the fact that his mother was murdered. He saw how his father reacted to Azalea's death and decided on that mindset but doesn't understand why Goldion is telling him to do the opposite. I did imply in the Azalea fic that he and Lieze don't agree on the topic of his mother.
> 
> 4\. Is it odd how I see the entire family line to be suicidal? Lieze's solution to merging with Void's evil heart is to kill herself (which happens in one of the bad endings). Void's answer to atoning is death (and to be mutilated in horrible ways). Goldion's answer to deal with his guilt is death.


End file.
